78uuu lumière des étoiles

Dusty:Starlight:Culture



post-stirrings
2005-11-30   11:13 p.m.

A few years ago, I scoffed at a friend's dramatic emphasis of "neo-conservativism" cropping up on our college campuses (among others). And once again, I feel a fool. I don't know what I'd call what happened in one of my classes yesterday, or if "neo-conservativism" quite cuts it, but whaever it was that happened made me nauseous.

Granted, I tend to run a little hot about some things, and get very absorbed in my teaching. But still, everyone I spoke to about it seemed at least midly disturbed, so I know I'm not just over-reacting. So here's what happened: I gave my class an article by Kofi Annan as an introduction to discussions about violence committed against women globally, and raised the question of UN involvement (and American involvement - or supposed involvement, anyway). In the article, Annan points out some pretty atrocious things military dictators and their thugs from various totalitarian regimes have said about women - things involving justifications for genocidal rape, forced sterilization, and failure to prosecute rapists and sexual abusers. I read the line from Annan's piece quoting these guys aloud, and waited for my very vocal class to react. I expected them to be overwhelmed, disgusted, or frustrated.

What I did not expect was for them to ATTACK Annan and JUSTIFY things coming out of the mouths of these various dictators.

I let them go for a few minutes, tossing ideas (which I believe I've still blocked out) around, and then remained silent. "Well?..." one student finally said. I couldn't help myself: I very dramatically looked around the classroom and said "Am I on Punk'd?

They were confused. I was speechless. I remembered where I was, though, remembered the ignorance and inexperience of youth, and asked why they felt there was really "nothing wrong" with forced sterilization or honor killings. "We have no right to judge," one GIRL - Indian girl, said. "We shouldn't interfere." ONE voice dissented. Eight others agreed.

I changed the subject and gave them a statistic about attacks against women in Iraq. Seems women in positions of power - lawyers, doctors, business owners, etc. - have been targeted specifically, some having acid thrown at them, some beheaded, some found raped and strangled with notes taped to them warning the other women in the community. The rise of a "new" fundamentalism, for sure. Telling them this, I was sure, would help them see that Annan did INDEED have a "point" when he said that sexism and misogyny abound and are killing women globally, that we shouldn't dismiss this FACT as his "opinion".

So did they? Nope! This, according to one little genius, is a "coincidence!" Well thank god! Because most of us, including a slew of Western governments, the press, and the communities themselves have said that, in fact, these women were targeted because they were women! Thank god my student helped us to understand that that's just not true and is all "media hype"! I wish I were kidding; this is what he said.

The simple truth of myprofession which is difficult to discover but inevitable for all young teachers is this: you will definitely meet students you just don't like, and you will definitely meet students who just aren't good people. It's nice when I go to conferences where people chant "every student is valuable" and that each student possesses some kind of intelligence and resilience that a teacher only has to tap into to unlock worlds of potential. It's nice - and a myth. I'm not talking about a majority here; there were several students in said class who remained silent but looked pretty horrified at the vocal 8 or so who chalked female genital mutilation up to "cultural differences". But every once in a while, there's one who is literally a waste of space, at least for the time being. My only hope for them is that they grow up and away from such sheltered isolation and develop some empathetic impulse later in life. Or if they don't my second hope is that they don't breed.

Oh that's terrible, isn't it? Right - Kumbaya and all that; we love the little children, all the children of the world.

You know if this were the first time something like this had happened in this particular class, I'd be eager and anxious to help expose these nay-say students to more literature and study that could give them a more realistic perspective on the world. But this isn't the first time I've tried to raise their consciousness - one of the students towing this "who gives a crap anyway" line yesterday also said last month that "anyone who makes under 35k a year should just kill themselves...cause they' can't possibly be happy." Ah...youth. Or is that Ah...sociopaths? I read a book last year that provided a revolutionary and controversial stat: one in 15 people are sociopathic. Given that a class usually runs from 25-30 students, I TOTALLY believe that statistic.

Because what is sociopathy, anyway? The condition of being anti-social, impulsive, extremely narcissistic; the inability to be empathetic or express concern and caring. Yeah, I got at least two of those. And since they walk around in shoes that cost more than my two week paycheck and have shiny ipods and teeny tiny cell phones, some of the other students do whatever they say. Is there a statistic about that?

I do hope that something in the next few years wakes them up. Lord knows I've tried; I feel like a colossal failure at times when I think about this class. Big ol sigh.

Me thinks perhaps I'm tired. I've had quite an emotional ride these last few weeks. The provost signed off on my joining the faculty and becoming full time at NJIT, and I've ordered the books for my capstone course on dystopian literature there. I've been sorting through some possible PhD programs and am thinking about when I'll start. I backed up yesterday and thought, "I can't believe this is my life," and then the tears came. I'd been wondering when I'd cry and let out all the tension and frustration of the last few months - and the joy at having such a secure position. There’s so much satisfaction now, considering the waiting and toughing it out through a whole lotta crap at all the jobs I've had over the years.

Could also be what little sleep I'd gotten over the holiday break; saw my old friend Keith at an Irish pub on Wednesday night, then went out with Kim, Nic, Tom and Steve till about 2 am, saw Bruno for a few pints on Thanksgiving after a great dinner at my Aunt's, went to Tony's annual POST Thanksgiving theme party (yes he's a busy man this time of year - he's the one who does the Pagan Thanksgiving the Monday before) on Friday AFTER I went over to my brother's for a few hours to have lunch with our family, his fiance's family, and several of their friends.

Pictures are coming soon from Tony's, by the way; the theme this year was heroes and villains, and we (Tom, Nic, Steve and I) went as the Scooby gang. I was Daphne, Steve was Fred, and Nic and Tom were Velma and Shaggy. We really went all out with the costumes and got much love throughout the night; a couple of random strangers even kept pushing us together to take a picture. We got ready together and everything at Nic's apartment; felt like the prom I never went to. Bet this was better. Got home from Tony's around 5 am - I honestly can't remember the last time I was out so late/early. I was spent the next day, and could only swim on Sunday. Takes a little longer to recover when you're not 21 anymore.

So I started the week physically and mentally drained, but pretty damn happy. Yes, ding dong, this is your life. Stay awake long enough - and stop getting so caught up in your moron students' lack of empathy - to enjoy it.

Note to self, and all that.

xoxo



awww!