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writer's brain
2003-09-29 5:16 p.m.

There's this moment you get as a writer, moments that usually strike when you least expect them to. You suddenly see the universe as infinite - you have an indefinite moment of beautiful clarity. Things seem so easy. Yes, yes, you think, I can get that done. I can visualize my future. Everything makes sense and in that 1/2 hour ride in the car, when you are completely alone, on autopilot, your thoughts wandering, you discover the ending to your book, what to do with that pesky flat character, or the most amazing title. That snappy climax. That hook that bites.

But then it's gone. You're scrambling to find a piece of paper, risking a serious car accident and hearing the beeps and yelling from behind as you veer into another lane since the pen is in the glove compartment.

All day long you're left with the memory of that amazing idea and beautiful clarity. Sure, you might be amused that the clarity seemed to have been prompted by scenic rt 280 east with its factories and garbage strewn medians, but mostly you'll be frustrated, and wonder why those beautiful moments don't come when you're home, comfortable, happy, and infront of your GD computer.

But still, something did happen that you can't explain; the stars must have converged or something, an atom split somewhere and you are suddenly free from self doubt. You are instead consumed by the artistic drive which lies buried beneath weeks and months and years of "practical work" and emotional distraction.

It's times like those that make you wonder where you'll be in a few years, who with; what will you see when you look out the window? Mountains? The Ocean? Beautiful and ancient architectural wonders? Or just the cracks in the brick of the tenemant building next door?

Good movies are always an inspiration to me, and so are bad ones. I saw a good one and a bad one this weekend, and then happened to get stuck in traffic this morning long enough to hear the complete interview with a young author who's just finished his "life's work" (I thought that an odd title for someone who's only 23) and had it published by Houghton-Mifflin. Yay. I love hearing things like that.

I get all flustered when I think about joining the ranks of published authors like Jessica Simpson and Brittney Spears. I was going to include the links to go along with that joke, but I won't give up the publicity or bother to make myself nauseous by searching amazon.com for their crapola books.

Publishing is such a hard industry to break into. I absolutely love to hear people say "You're a good writer". When I say "Thanks", they say "No, I mean it, you're a good writer". Yes it's true, and I've gotten better. But so have so many people I know. So what does it take then? I'm looking and looking and looking, yet still puzzled. The more research I do into publication, the more complicated it becomes.

But will I move the book, maybe another after that? Will they carry me to a place where I can look out the window and see mountains, or the ocean? Will it free me from the neccessary work of life?

If you know the answers, let me know too; when I find them, I'll share them with you.

xoxox