78uuu lumière des étoiles

Dusty:Starlight:Culture



academic doody heads
2007-06-18   4:31 p.m.

I took the GRE again. I got a really really good verbal score, and a really REALLY bad math score. Here's what I've been telling everyone about that: "I think adolescent monkeys with Downs Syndrome selecting random answers could have done better." And as my friend Kai said: "Damn! Were you trying to fail that bad?...well contrats!". Well maybe that's just what I'll say. I've chosen to make a statement by getting such an atrocious math score. But I think saying that makes me sound like a doody-head. So I'm not going to say that. Cause I'm not a doody-head. I'm very cool.

I would have studied more. I should have studied more. But I like to run and do push-ups and dance and paint pictures, so I spent some time doing that. And then there was that night that I meant to go to the bookstore (like I'd BUY the study guides) and learn more algebra formulas, but somehow found myself at Todd & Danielle's house talking to them about music, car accidents and drugs. And then there was the night where I meant to memorize just what the fuck a rhombus even is, but Nicole was here and she's awesome and I wanted to talk to her and plan our trip to Italy, which I was well aware would be way more fun than taking the test anyway.

But to be honest, these were the sort of life distractions I could handle; most of my time in the last couple of weeks has been taken up by my other, new life as a researcher on this grant. And that work, which was intense and hard but something I really believe in, has resulted in the NSF publishing my results and crediting me as part of a research team getting a lot of attention at a conference in DC this week. It's also shuttling me to another conference at the University of Washington in two weeks to discuss my work and share ideas with other grant recipients and researchers. Holler.

And so I'm unbelievably proud of that but bummed I couldn't remember what the inside angles of isosceles triangles are supposed to add up to or how to multiply exponents. Or am I? I think I feel weird that I don't feel weirder - I care too much about not caring much at all. Seems that at some higher consciousness, I realize that if my bad geometry skills somehow negate this really esteemed position I've landed, then the world of academe is too bureaucratic and rigid after all and not something I want to further pursue. Or, if my bad math scores were considered more heavily than the fact that the NSF has published my research and wants to present my work in expanding its focus on women and technology, then a major red flag should go up and I should avoid the considering institution all together.

So, um, I guess I feel bad about not feeling bad. But, you know, life goes on and all that. And I took the bloody test years ago anyway to get into grad school in the first place, which I did and graduated from successfully, thankyouverymuch. And I'm already in a program, but thought maybe I'd want to go into another that fits my interest just a little bit better (still might) and so would need to have a "recent score", as an advisor said to me. What, 1999 isn't recent?

I should call my ISO friends and we should flash-mob the nearest testing center. I think they'd have my back on this one.