lumière des étoiles

Relief, but not enough
2004-12-31 12:21 p.m.

Phew. After spending half the night scrolling through the names of American citizens registered at shelters or being treated at Thai hospitals, I finally heard from Brian, who is fine.

I couldn't bring myself to look through the names or pictures of the dead, nor could I possibly imagine a few days ago what a massive task that would wind up becoming. So many of those missing or dead were children, most under ten. After a while, I couldn't really bear to look at one more little face or set of siblings pictured together, all missing. From locals to tourists on Holiday trips, there were just so many faces, too many faces.

I of course had horrible dreams that night, and felt hung over the next morning. We had breakfast at the beach, though, which definitely helped; there's really something to that Vitamin D/Seratonin combination that shouldn't be ignored - I really do feel like I can handle anything if the day is bright enough, and feel like I can't deal with even the smallest upsets if the sun hasn't shone for days. We got in yesterday in the morning, and just as I was about to call Jon again to ask if anyone had heard from Brian, I got the email that Brian is safe.

Still worried about Ryan; though he and his wife were removed from any point of direct impact, disease is starting to become rampant where they are and I'm afraid for them. I haven't heard from Ryan yet, but Steve, who survived that massive earthquake that struck Taiwan a few years ago, when he was living there, did explain that in a time of such disaster, it's really difficult to move around or get to somewhere stable enough that has some lines of communication.

I have to once again say how brilliant lonely planet's thorn tree forum is - it's through information on their site that I even understood where to look for names of survivors or people who are missing, and how to translate thai pages into english. LP continues to be a most incredible resource - I'm very grateful for its existence.

When we landed back in NY yesterday morning, I was happy to see the sun and to see that it wasn't freezing. I called a friend up here a few days ago, and he told me it was about 30 degrees - to which I happily replied "Oh, I'm sitting on the deck with my bikini on". tee hee! I miss the sun already, but am happy we're back in time to celebrate New Year's Eve with our friends.

Yesterday a few of us went to Iberia for dinner and wine, and we sat around talking forever. I hadn't seen Nicole in a while, so I talked to her for most of the night, but also wound up meeting two writers from NYC who somehow are connected to our little group. They asked me a lot of questions about my teaching and my publications, which I happily told them all about, tee hee. They were strange, Thomas decided, but really nice, and I wound up with a bunch of email addresses I have to be sure to make use of.

This would have been plenty celebration enough, but tonight we see my Uncle's Jazz trio play, head into Hoboken for a party, then wind up eventually in Montclair for another. I'm just going to relax today, maybe go swimming today and see a movie - and feel lucky that my friend is alive.